Executive Coaching, Team Coaching, and Company Mental Health | TwelveTen Consulting

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Learning a Better Approach to Balance

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Balance is a goal that many aspire to, few achieve, and even less understand. Flip through any self-help book or run a Google Images search on the word “balance,” and you will encounter concepts that suggest that balance is an inner peace and harmony; a zen-like existence and state of being. While this looks and sounds promising, it is misleading.

Balance and inner peace can be connected, but they are two different pursuits. Inner peace is more related to discovering meaning and connection that anchors our souls and can withstand fluctuating circumstances. This is definitely worth discussing in more detail another time (who doesn’t desire inner peace?), but it is not the central theme of balance.

Balance is less like zen and more like standing on one foot. Take a moment and try this. You will notice that the foot you are balancing on is working overtime. Tiny muscles in your foot are continually activating to compensate and readjust so you don’t fall over.

Balance in life requires us to constantly and actively adjust our focus so that we choose the best version of the present moment. This is not a static, peaceful state of being. Quite the opposite, actually. If we are achieving balance, we are probably sweating from the work of it.

We all have values and priorities that need balancing, and life is constantly changing the parameters. Every season requires thoughtful consideration to determine what healthy balance calls for. Career shifts, relational dynamics, personal goals, and pandemics all require real-time rebalancing of our priorities and values if we are going to consistently embrace the best and most empowered version of the present moment.  Let’s look at an example…

Imagine you are trying to accomplish a lifelong goal of running a marathon. If you maintain your typical schedule instead of making sufficient time to train, and you don’t adjust your diet to account for the nutritional needs of long runs, you are going to either hurt yourself or burn out. Fitness would need to be a higher time priority to take on this goal safely. Social relationships, including time with family, might have to take up less time and attention during the training. Under these circumstances, less social attention and more physical attention would be balanced “for the moment,” assuming that the season was an appropriate time to make this goal a value priority. If you place a high value on family and friendship, however, at some point you would have to find a way to adjust your balance so that you are not ignoring these relational values. If you do not re-evaluate and adjust for the given moment or season, unbalanced and neglected values are always just around the corner.

In order to determine a good balance plan, you need to know what values should be vying for your attention. If you are not sure what these values are, take a few minutes and jot down a “top 5” values list. Once you know your values, it’s time to shift from hoping for peace to standing on one foot. The more you practice, the better you will become at adjusting your priorities in real time. You will learn to set work down and be present with a friend when the moment calls for it. You will learn to burn the midnight oil and immerse yourself in a project without becoming a slave to workaholism or neglecting your family. You will discover the freedom of being able to fully invest yourself in the best and most balanced version of each new season you encounter. The payout is a life that honors your values, strengthens your relationships, guards your self-care needs, and protects you from burnout.

Reclaiming the Commodity of Time During the Pandemic

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We have all at some point had a conversation that included a variation of the phrase “make the most of the time while you have it.” It might have been our parents or a mentor who said it to us. Maybe we were the ones saying it to a young, single person with limited responsibilities who plays a lot of video games and takes a lot of naps.

Time is a commodity that is difficult to monetize. Sure, we put a dollar amount on our time every day in the form of a salary or an hourly rate, but this is merely about what we charge to sell our time for a service. It has nothing to do with what time itself is actually worth.

We put a valuation on our time when we sell it to others, but we almost never stop to consider what our unpaid, unhurried time should be worth to us personally and professionally. Perhaps we severely undervalue it as a commodity. No matter how much we charge, if we do not have a strong enough personalized time portfolio, we are on the losing end of the deal.

The time that we keep for ourselves is more valuable than any dollar amount we can assign to it. If we want satisfying relationships, a vibrant marriage, a unified organization driven by a focused vision, physical and mental vitality, a meaningful connection with our kids and grandkids, and to make a lasting contribution to the world, time is crucial. If our time bank is under-funded, we run the risk of bankrupting these precious areas of our life and leadership.

For those of you whose business is at a standstill because of the pandemic, the unwelcome pause and the dwindling reserves are anxiety-provoking and energy-sapping. That said, you face a critical choice. You can stare at the uncertainty that is out of your control and wring your hands, or you can refocus your attention on the elements of your personal and professional lives that you can effect; areas that are largely neglected when life is moving at its normal, frantic pace.

When time is abundant, you can attend to team-building and training that you wouldn’t normally have time for. You can recalibrate how your people understand and implement your organization’s core values. You can commit to a 1-hour date with your spouse every day for a month. You can set your phone down and be fully present with your kids for a game, a catch, a silly dance, or a serious chat. You can practice your guitar playing, learn a second language, strengthen your spiritual practices, take up cooking, or build a bird house.

Think of the standstill of the pandemic like getting a redo on your early 20’s, but with the wisdom you possess now. You have all the time in the world to give your best attention to the relationships that matter most to you and the activities that give you life. Very few people reach the end of their days wishing they had made another million or brokered another deal. Many, however, find themselves wishing they had given a great deal more time and attention to their personal and professional legacy values, and to the relationships that sat in the shadow of their busyness and accomplishments. This abundance of time is a rare anomaly. The window will close again soon. Make the most of the time while you have it!